Trouble with Wife 1.0

 

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities, such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Going To The Pub 7.5, and Softball 3.6
I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my other favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0.
Please help!
Thanks,
Troubled User…..
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men often complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it
is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also
impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is
impossible to uninstall, or purge, the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
Warnings:
Alimony-Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on
improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application
Yes Dear 2.7 to alleviate your program problems.
The best course of action is to enter the command
C:\APOLOGIZE! because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE
command before the system
will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very
high maintenance!
Wife 1.0 does come with several support programs,
such as Clean and
Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5, and Do Bills 4.2
However, be very careful how you use these programs.
Improper use will
cause the system to launch the programNag Nag 9.5 .
Once this happens,
the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0
is to purchase
additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and
Diamonds 5.0
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances,
installSecretary With Short
Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by
Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system!
Best of luck,
Tech Support